Driving in Phoenix

[Desertdawg]

Driving in Phoenix

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "FEE - niks."

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00a to 10:00a. The evening rush hour is from 3:00p to 7:00p. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on all freeways -- I-10, I-17, U.S. 60, Loop 202 -- is 85 mph. You may only exceed that speed on Loop 101, where the speed is allowed to match the highway number. Anything less is considered wussy.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. Cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go next at a four-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires go after that. (Note: East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.)

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.

7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the I-10" are the same road.

10. To find anything in Phoenix, it is required to know where Central and Washington are. This is our Alpha and Omega-- the Beginning and the End.

11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

12. If you are in the left lane, and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly.

13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city driving.

14. You are allowed to wear potholders to protect your hands and fingers during summer driving.

Good Luck! :

[P51tj]

: :

[BSeery]

You forgot that you have to take I-10 East to go south to Tucson and that I-10 west goes north for about 1/2 the state.

Also, unless you know the difference between the Aqua Fria Freeway and the Pima you will never know where on 101 you are at. It has an east / west / north /south that can have you in 2 different places that are about 60 miles apart.

[Guest XLR8TNC5]

And don't forget the lawn mowers flying out of the back of the landscaping trucks. Have seen it personally about 5 times in five years.

Great write up.

[Togo]

don't forget about the 60 - also known as grand avenue - or is it the supersition freeway?

oh heck ya'all, you figure it out!

[Scratch]

: : I resemble most of those remarks...(not the lawnmower one)