The golfer

[HOXXOH]

 

I was moving stuff around in the garage last night and then in and out of dreams as I woke up this morning that kinda matched up with what I planned to do today. The golf bag and balls kept coming back in the dream as it went several directions while I was waking. I thought it might be fun to write down some thoughts and it turned out I created a whole story that's sorta funny and with hidden meanings and convoluted at the same time. It's been more than 50 years since I wrote short fiction stories for a college literature course and it's a little rough, but I thought I'd share this with ACE too.

 

So here it is:

 

A few days ago one of my car forum friends dropped by for the first time, claiming he needed to get some time away from his nagging wife. While we were in the garage, he noticed my dusty golf bag and old clubs hanging on a nail in the wall. He asked if I played and I replied I quit suddenly 25 years ago. Then he said why don't you sell them, to which I responded that they give me great pleasure from the memories of that last day and besides, two of the clubs are missing. Of course, he wanted to know more, so I told him this story.

 

For many years I played rather often at a small course near my work. It had four par 4 holes and the rest were par 3's, but more importantly it was a place to have a beer and relax before going home. One day I ordered a beer and sat there staring out the window at guys waiting their turn on the first tee, when an incredibly gorgeous petite Asian woman sat down next to me. She introduced herself as Lynda Byrd and I was stunned when she ask if I was planning to play. She told me that with several foursomes in the queue that she needed a partner to get a time slot and she'd be willing to pay the green fees if I was interested. I rushed out to my car to retrieve my clubs, but to my dismay there was just a Ping driver I always kept in there for driving range practice and an antique hickory shaft Bobby Jones 6 iron I had recently restored. Frantically, I searched the car and found nothing else except two balls.  A Wilson and a Titleist. Sheepishly, I returned to the clubhouse and showed her the mere pittance I had to offer. She looked me straight in the eye and told me she had everything I'd ever need, including lots of extra balls, because she played poorly and lost them often.

 

We teed off on the first hole, a 335 yard par 4 and she dribbled out about 25 yards. I managed to hit a real boomer for a change, which seemed to impress her a bit. After she sliced her next two shots over the fence and across the road, she hacked her way to the green and three putted for a 12 to my par 4. As we continued to play and talk, we had plenty of time between the foursomes in front and behind us to search rather fruitlessly for the balls she continuously sliced and hooked into the rough and the woods. She took 11 on #2, a 9 on #3, 8 on #4, a 12 on #5, and a 7 on #6. Meanwhile, I was playing my best game in a long time with a string of pars and a birdie on #6. We were both enjoying each other's company, irrespective of the score.

 

Then on the par 3 number 7 water hole, I teed up the Titleist, took out the Bobby Jones 6 iron and for the first time ever I got a hole in one for an eagle. She was so excited and happy for me that she gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. I was in shock for both reasons. Then she proceeded to hit 2 balls in the pond and overdrove the green into the woods with a couple more, before settling in for a 10.

 

What happened next was amazing. We were deep in the woods looking for a ball, since she only had one left. "You need to see this" she said, from the far side of a large oleander bush. As I walked to the other side, I saw her standing there stark naked with her long black hair caressing her breasts. You don't need much imagination to know what occurred after that. When we got dressed, she added up the scorecard after the first 7 to reveal a 21 for me and a 69 for her. Because I had a birdie and an eagle, I surmised that two birds are not better than a hole in one behind the bush. Since she got her 69 on lucky #7 and my #1 wood was restored better than the antique 6 iron, we decided it just doesn't get any better than this, so we left everything behind and simply walked away.

 

Just as I finished telling my friend the story, a beautiful dark haired petite Asian lady brought out two beers for us. I said "Thanks Lynda" and gave her a kiss. After she left, I told my friend to look in the bottom of my bag to see the Wilson and Titleist. It was proof I still had my balls and that after he finished the beer, he needed to go home and find his.

[Extender32]

Strange, you don't seem to be the golfing type.

[Guest badbobs95]

Did I really read all that? 

[Extender32]

53 minutes ago, badbobs95 said:

Did I really read all that? 

That bored, huh?

[Desertdawg]

No pictures ?????

[HOXXOH]

2 hours ago, Desertdawg said:

No pictures ?????

It was a fictional story, so you get to create whatever fictional images you want. I already have mine and you'll have to find yours yourself. 

[Desertdawg]

Is this her ??????

 

 

 

 

 

[HOXXOH]

10 hours ago, Desertdawg said:

Is this her ??????

 

 

 

 

 

That's not my fantasy image, but you can have that one if you want.

[Desertdawg]

No thanks. 

 

 

Im into a little fishing lure fantasy lately.