teh laws of life

[Guest badbobs95]

Here are the real laws:

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll
to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the
cashier will have to call for help.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you
know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to
be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the
ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or
the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the
game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once,
have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the
performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee
is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker
room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam
sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the
newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know
what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're
ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find
a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't
make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over
and over with taking children to the pediatrician.

If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will
unscrew.


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[Desertdawg]

The

[Guest badbobs95]

teh

I know, right? I did a copy and paste and this is what happens. WTF? Is it my computer? It doesn't do it anywhere else.

[Desertdawg]

It must be a bug on your end or something because I type three letters and it shows the ....

[Cross]

The vs the

[Extender32]

I think number 11 applies to Bob.

[porvette]

What if you don't have a belly button ???????

[Desertdawg]

teh vs teh

What was the question ???

[Grape Ape]

What if you don't have a belly button ???????

Then you are an alien. THE doesn't work for me either.

[porvette]

WOW, I am a ALIEN >>>>>>>>>>

[TheCMSH]

It's just the imagination going wild