Border Vette Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. 12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 21. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shifty Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grayeagle Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 'When I was younger I thought I was invulnerable. The fact I am still here proves it.' -Gray Eagle aka Frank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blk n Blu Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 #1 is a classic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigfoot Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. Ummm....you had to go there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shifty Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Beware teh lollipop of mediocrity, one lick, and you suck forever....teh 'Shifter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roneva Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 If you're not sure if she's still mad, she is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chameleon Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 No matter where you go, there you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Posted April 23, 2012 Share Posted April 23, 2012 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. Ummm....you had to go there. Was looking for bald and now mine eyes are ruint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corvettech Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 this job would be great if not for the customers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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