Marco Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Ran across this idea in cyber space and thought it would be fun. So something like the ones on my signature would work. Got a laugh from these too... If it has t!ts or tires , its gonna cause trouble. and "Those with Golf Balls Golf... Those with Real Balls Race" Let em rip! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Posted December 19, 2011 Author Share Posted December 19, 2011 If it won't go, bore it. If it still won't go, stroke it. If it still won't go, chrome it..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quicksilver98 Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Tuned by ear.............Stroked by hand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCMSH Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Here's the only thing I can think of funny car related: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desertdawg Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 if in doupt, turn left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blk n Blu Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 if in doupt, turn left. Didn't you end up in Duncan doing that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desertdawg Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 you had to be there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOTV8 Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance," 1841 It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road. ~Author Unknown The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. ~Dudley Moore A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left in the tank. ~Author Unknown Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~Albert Einstein I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. ~Author Unknown Hug your kids at home, but belt them in the car. ~Author Unknown A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense. ~American Proverb Americans are broad-minded people. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there is something wrong with him. ~Art Buchwald When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot. ~Larry Lujack The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. ~Dave Barry I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. ~Steven Wright Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. ~Author Unknown The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. ~Jason Love Making a left turn in L.A. is one of the harder things you're going to learn in life. ~Lawrence Kasdan You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. ~Author Unknown Road rage is the expression of the amateur sociopath in all of us, cured by running into a professional. ~Robert Brault For every "Drive Safely" sign, shouldn't there be a "Resume Normal Driving" sign? ~Robert Brault If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. ~Doug Larson No other man-made device since the shields and lances of the knights quite fulfills a man's ego like an automobile. ~William Rootes Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. ~Jason Love Two-hundred forty horsepower isn't enough to move me anymore. Enough to move my body, yes, but not my soul. ~S.A. Sachs On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. ~Curtis McDougall Remember folks, traffic lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph. ~Jim Samuels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChadC Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. ~Author Unknown actually that is a George Carlin joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chameleon Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 If everything seems under control, you're not driving fast enough (supposedly said by Mario Andretti) Remember folks, traffic lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph. ~Jim Samuels This one's true; I have tested it myself. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dvl4evr Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 If everything comes your way, you're in the wrong lane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seppeku Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Gas, Grass, or Ass, nobody rides for free... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C4orce2 Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 "The more I know about women, the better I like my car"--on a bumper sticker I saw. My dad used to hate how fast I drove so I told him "If you are going faster than everyone else, you don't need to worry about getting hit from the rear; makes defensive driving just that much easier". He never quite bought into that program! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 I wanna go so fast I think I'm gonna die...then I'm gonna shift into second... Cubic inches will never outrun cubic dollars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 Hold my trophy while I kiss your girlfriend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiperf406 Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 When the flag drops the bullshit stops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quicksilver98 Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 If you’re not a race driver, stay the hell home. — Don’t come here and grumble about going too fast. Get the hell out of the race car if you’ve got feathers on your legs or butt. — Put a kerosene rag around your ankles so the ants won’t climb up there and eat that candy ass.” ~ Dale Earnhardt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 If you're not a race driver, stay the hell home. — Don't come here and grumble about going too fast. Get the hell out of the race car if you've got feathers on your legs or butt. — Put a kerosene rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up there and eat that candy ass." ~ Dale Earnhardt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vidal1313 Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Drive it like you stole it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Y Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Marco fixed his brakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 ..uh? ...oh..... this works for lots of stuff... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blk n Blu Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 Marco fixed his brakes. Marco needs to lose his brakes..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L8RDAYS Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 Marco fixed his brakes. Marco needs to lose his brakes..... And just what is wrong with the brakes?? Not quite gettin' that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blk n Blu Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 Marco fixed his brakes. Marco needs to lose his brakes..... And just what is wrong with the brakes?? Not quite gettin' that one He's already lost his marbles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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