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Desertdawg

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Desertdawg

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JohnU

New member material....

 

 

A68B457C-D045-4A03-8630-E1CDE0F4F812.jpeg

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HOXXOH

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JohnU

Truisms

 

- If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.

 

- I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.

 

- Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

 

- I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."

 

- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 

- I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

 

- My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.

 

- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

 

- Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don't care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.

 

- Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?

 

- Take my advice — I'm not using it.

 

- I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.

 

- Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

 

- Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

 

- I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

 

- Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.

 

- I'll bet you $4,567 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie.

 

- Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

 

- If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

 

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

 

- Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

 

- When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.

 

- My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test--the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.

 

- There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.

 

- Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

 

- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

 

- He who laughs last thinks slowest.

 

- Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

 

- Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

 

- I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

 

- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 

- The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it.

 

- I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.

 

- I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.

 

- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

 

- Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

 

- If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

 

- Money is the root of all wealth.

 

- No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 

- She says I don’t listen……..or something like that.

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Vette R & D

I have never mad a mistake in my life,  Once I thought I had,      but I was wrong

 

My wife said I only man listen,   But I can remember exactly what that is!

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JohnU

The ultimate cruise night Corvette.  Add a silky disco shirt and poly bell bottoms and you'll OWN the show!!!  On Ebay at $6,100 currently...... I'll leave the link off to save you from yourself!

 

 

C3.jpg

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