Since it's joke week...

[Scratch]

An elderly man lay in his death bed. Expecting to die at any moment, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Oatmeal Raisin cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with super human effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favorite Oatmeal Raisin cookies. Was he in heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? With one great and final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous smell of the cookie was seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shaking made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral."

[Guest 7]

8/10 Good one!

[Eddie44]

8/10

[Robert and Elizabeth]

Cute!! 8/10

Robert gives it a 10/10!

[ChadC]

dark. I like it 9/10

[Scratch]

dark. I like it

[GarAB13]

Cruel so cruel!!!

[1jester]

That's how I would be treated. Aren't ladies thoughtful? good joke.

That's how I would be treated. Aren't ladies thoughtful? good joke.

[Scratch]

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.

She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Wal-Mart associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says ,"Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB.Test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who farted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.

[Robert and Elizabeth]

7/10