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My Try At The Funnies!


Desertdawg

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Water vs Wine

Newest health information:

It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 gallon of water each

day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 pound of

Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 pound of Poo. However, we do not run that

risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because

alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering

and/or fermenting.

WATER = Poo

WINE = HEALTH

Ergo: It is better to drink wine and talk stupid than to drink water and be full of crap.

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True Story from Houston Medical Center

A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis.

According to the attending Nurse , the patient's girl friend found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.

I don't know what's worse:

1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.

2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.

3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

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Thought for the day

Handle every situation like a dog

If you can't Eat it or Screw it.

Piss on it and Walk Away

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True Story from Houston Medical Center

A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis.

According to the attending Nurse , the patient's girl friend found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.

I don't know what's worse:

1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.

2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.

3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

Must be an old guy. :smilelol

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