Monday's Funny

[1EVLC7]

"Are you Gay?" .............................Self Examination

___________________________________________________________

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are

gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and

have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and

doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a

dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches

itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and

whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog...

"Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now

think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy,

snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such

nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only

sucks on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts,

pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training

and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a

parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's

world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man

will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a

Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four

different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might

as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have

memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can

pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay.

And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim,

you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're

dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the

wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest

of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a

hamburger, or hold his beer.

[Shifty]

:smilelol :smilelol

[Bigfoot]

Ain't that the truth.

[jstrutt]

Works for me..........

[Robert and Elizabeth]

[ChadC]

no.. If you own one of these you are gay.

PS: If you don’t know what that is, then you don’t really want to know.

[Eddie44]

no.. If you own one of these you are gay.

PS: If you don’t know what that is, then you don’t really want to know.

Isn't that chair in your family room?

I know you just got it so you could use the HOV lane huh?

[1EVLC7]

That would be the "HIV" lane!

[jstrutt]

[Bigfoot]

Eddie, you beat me to the punch on that one.

[Guest azcueball]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Eddie, you beat me to the punch on that one. ain't that the truth