Female Definitions

[Chameleon]

1)         Fine 

 

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

 

 

2)         Five Minutes

 

If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

 

 

3)         Nothing

 

This is the calm before the storm.  This means something, and you should be on your toes.  Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

 

 

4)         Go Ahead

 

This is a dare, not permission.  Don’t do it!

 

 

5)         Loud Sigh

 

This isn’t actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.  A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here an arguing with you about nothing.  (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing).

 

 

6)         That’s Okay

 

This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man.  That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

 

 

7)         Thanks

 

A woman is thanking you; do not question or faint.  Just say “you’re welcome.”  Please note – if she says “thanks a lot” – that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.  In this case, DO NOT say “you’re welcome.”  That will bring on a  “whatever.”

 

 

8)         Whatever

 

This is a woman’s way of saying F- YOU!

 

 

9)         Don’t worry about it, I got it.

 

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself.  This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?”  For the woman’s response, refer to #3.

[P51tj]

All noted for future reference since I can't roll back the hands of already damaged time. You would think I learned and wouldn't have to "note" these!

[TheCMSH]

Where the hell is my whatever sandwich????

[Chameleon]

1 hour ago, TheCMSH said:

Where the hell is my whatever sandwich????

 

Ingredients are in the kitchen.  Go ahead.  Make it yourself.

[SLAMMER]

And you wounder why we don't understand your kind!!

we need a woman's translation manual to simple mans English to figure things out!

and I thought my secret decoder ring was complicated. 

No still means No.........?

Yes????

Could you send me the full hard bound 10 volume set of "What a woman says and What it really means".

I think I have some studying to do! ?

 

SLAMMER