Quicksilver98 Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 For Cahd.................. BMW Acronyms Brings Me Women! Bavarian Murder Weapons Born Moderately Wealthy Big Mexican Weiner Big Money Waste Break My Windows Black Mans Willy Beats My Wood Borrows My Wallet Bothers My Willy Buffoon Made Waste Bust My Waller Blonde Man Wheels Broke My Wallet Brings Me Women Big Mexican Woman Bought My Wife Breaks Most Wrenches Beautiful Mechanical Wonder Best Motorcycle Worldwide Bad Mutha' Wheels Boozedup Moron Wagon Black Man's Wheels Be My Wife Black Man's Wish Big Money Waster Break My Window Bring Money With you Short BMW Jokes Q: How many BMW car salesmen does it take to change your light bulb? A: It depends on your credit, current lease terms, and willingness to take a balloon payment! Q: What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A: Porcupines have pricks on the outside. Q: What is the BMW owner's most ardent wish? A: A bigger penis. Q: What should you do if you find three BMW owners buried up to their neck in cement? A: Get more cement. BMW One Liners So you're in high school and you drive a BMW? You must know all about hard work then. I would give both my testies for a new BMW. If you see someone driving a BMW, stay away! Research shows that BMW drivers are the rudest on the road. You wanna man that drives a BMW, but your dad drives a Toyota. Why you can't be humble like your mom? I just saw a BMW driver using his indicators correctly on the motorway. Twice. Should I report the vehicle as stolen? A girl who swallows is like owning a BMW, You don't need it, but it's nice to have. BMW Bar Jokes Car Shopping A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price." Mid Life Crisis A man in his 40's bought a new BMW convertible and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 120.... then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back." "Have a nice weekend," said the officer Materialistic Lawyer A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeemer!!!", he whiningly said. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!" "Oh my god....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desertdawg Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Crap, now Chad has to afford a Rolex too..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest badbobs95 Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChadC Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GOALNGO Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 You owe me a beer.... I spewed, and wasted one when I read this!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F22trainer Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 ...in Oregon it stands for Burly Mountain Women - usually with the requisite Birkenstock sandals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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