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What would you do?


Marco

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I'm not a girlieman by no means and hate sounding like I'm sensitive but this is about a fellow general contractor and friend of mine. This friend is the kind of person who would give you the shirt off his back even if doesn't have one and I believe him to be a genuine good guy. My friend spoke highly of his wife and was proud of her real estate accomplishments both at work and being a good mother at home. I never knew him to know anything was wrong in their world. As you know, this recession causes money problems and money problems cause strains on relationships. The other day he was handed divorce papers from his wife. After worrying about what to do next checked the bank account (he relinquished the bill paying activities to his spouse, as I did a while back when we were busy as hell) and was astonished to find that she transferred all their money in small increments over the last years time to her own secret account. He now has little to no work, no way to finance work, and soon no place to live. What would you do?

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Put a sombrero on her and drop her off here.

Then pick up the pieces. What else can you do? I'm sorry for you friend Marco.

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WOW! That sucks Marc...really. Not sure what I would do, but I would call an attorney first and ask a lot of questions about embezzlement and secret accounts. I hear bullets are cheap. :hunter

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From a banking perspective if she's a signer on the accounts she can do anything she wants with the money. From a legal perspective this is a community property state and if he can prove she hid the money and where he sould be entitled to half unless of course there are children and support issues. I would telll him to get an attorney and do it now! If there are no children and there is not a huge pot of gold I'd tell him to pack his scheit and get out. If you hire an attorney you're talking $300-$500 an hour. Act accordingly, if it's just a few thousand then he'd be better off paying himself rather than an attorney. On a personal level I'd offer him work and maybe a place to stay until he gets on his feet. Most guys don't want a handout but they will work when push comes to shove. One thing a good financial crimes investigator will tell you is there is always a trail all you have to do is follow it. The only way you can 100% hide money is in a coffee can in the backyard or hidden in the mattress. If she cashed checks or withdrew cash and didn't deposit it somewhere else then she can hide it. If she did cash you can still show that she was the one that took it so a judge should demand she give him 50%. All theory though!

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lesson learned for never having a joint account. peroid. In short there is nogthing he can do execpt tie a rag around the gushing wound and accept that he will loose the arm. The ression has nogthing to do with the divorce. It was a catalyist for something that was already there. Perhaps he did not listen. Perhaps she did not communicate why she was unhappy. Either way she has been planning this for a long time, and therefore has been unhappy for a longer peroid of time (im talking years here). This cant be stopped. The 'bomb' has already gone off. ...All you can do is mop up the blood on the floor and learn to write with the left hand now.

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From a banking perspective if she's a signer on the accounts she can do anything she wants with the money. From a legal perspective this is a community property state and if he can prove she hid the money and where he sould be entitled to half unless of course there are children and support issues.

I would telll him to get an attorney and do it now! If there are no children and there is not a huge pot of gold I'd tell him to pack his scheit and get out. If you hire an attorney you're talking $300-$500 an hour. Act accordingly, if it's just a few thousand then he'd be better off paying himself rather than an attorney.

On a personal level I'd offer him work and maybe a place to stay until he gets on his feet. Most guys don't want a handout but they will work when push comes to shove.

One thing a good financial crimes investigator will tell you is there is always a trail all you have to do is follow it. The only way you can 100% hide money is in a coffee can in the backyard or hidden in the mattress. If she cashed checks or withdrew cash and didn't deposit it somewhere else then she can hide it. If she did cash you can still show that she was the one that took it so a judge should demand she give him 50%. All theory though!

I'm not an attourney either, but what Ed and Chad are saying here is fairly accurate.

Sure, it's never fun, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and too, it's probably going to get a bit darker before it brightens up some, but in the end it will all be good.

What your friend needs right now is emmotional support and knowing that it's not necessarily the end of the world. As some people can tell you, the system, albeit unknowingly, will put people into a state of mind where they will consider doing things that are totally out of character.

Personal experience is oft times the best teacher.

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Wow,I feel for the guy. What she did was just wrong!! If it is not a lot of money, he would probably be better off cutting his losses and moving on. Hopefully there are no kids involved and he won't have to deal with her anymore.

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Get an attorney. He is entitled to half. A good lawyer will find it and get it. He also will probably be entitled to spousal support if his income is low right now. The beautiful thing is that she'll pay for the lawyer if he can't. He'll be in trouble if he does nothing.

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wickedfastvette

Not hard to hide money, she will say that she paid bills with it, Im sure she has taken it out of her accounts by now, if it is gone before they file they will do nothing, if she has been planning this for awhile Im sure the money was taken out prior to filing, he is not entitled to spousal support, you can ask, but state of AZ does not give it. Child support yes, if they have kids. Does it suck that this happened yes! People need to be more aware of whats going on, there are signs. "DO NOT IGNORE THEM" Sounds like he was already down and out so not much to lose, get an attorney and get it over with so you can start your new life! Seems horrible now, but alot of us have gone through it and yes there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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Guest LOUDMIKE

I have personal experience with this. It would all depend on the amounts and how he wants to receive his satisfaction. I offer no suggestions other than educate yourself and then decide what is best for himself.

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Thanks for the imput so far guys, I want to help and many minds are better then mine, ok everyones :lol so I thought I would throw it out there. Yes they were both kind of out of work for a while and also lost a good chunk of cash on a spec house (ouch!). The transferred money totaled 120K which is a lot when times are bad.

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He needs to educate himself about the divorce process in Arizona. There is a lot of information available here:

http://www.superiorcourt.maricopa.gov/Supe...-ServiceCenter/

Whether he needs an attorney depends upon the complexity of his circumstances. If there is real property or children involved, he needs to at least consult one.

I'll send it..Thanks Donna
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Thanks for the imput so far guys, I want to help and many minds are better then mine, ok everyones :lol so I thought I would throw it out there. Yes they were both kind of out of work for a while and also lost a good chunk of cash on a scec house (ouch!). The transferred money totaled 120K which is a lot when times are bad.

OMG, Marco - that man needs an attorney, asap.

I went through a divorce from hell a couple of years ago. Here's my attorney's contact info:

William Wingard

2101 E. Broadway Rd. Suite 9

Tempe, AZ 85282

480-543-1131

www.wingardlaw.com

This attorney handles only family law. He is also a pro-tem Maricopa county superior court judge (so he knows his stuff). He is in private practice, so his clients get personal attention and his rates are a little lower than the bigger law firms.

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Thanks for the imput so far guys, I want to help and many minds are better then mine, ok everyones :lol so I thought I would throw it out there. Yes they were both kind of out of work for a while and also lost a good chunk of cash on a scec house (ouch!). The transferred money totaled 120K which is a lot when times are bad.

OMG, Marco - that man needs an attorney, asap.

I went through a divorce from hell a couple of years ago. Here's my attorney's contact info:

William Wingard

2101 E. Broadway Rd. Suite 9

Tempe, AZ 85282

480-543-1131

www.wingardlaw.com

This attorney handles only family law. He is also a pro-tem Maricopa county superior court judge (so he knows his stuff). He is in private practice, so his clients get personal attention and his rates are a little lower than the bigger law firms.

Sweet Donna! I sent him the info. THANK YOU!!
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With that kind of money DEFINITELY get an attourney. Mine should have been simple years ago but I wound up needing one anyway. Make sure they come with good references as I was VERY dissapointed with mine. They will generally wait for payments on a case like this, so if he/she can get at least half of that money for him he can pay him/her out of the settlement.

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One thing a good financial crimes investigator will tell you is there is always a trail all you have to do is follow it. The only way you can 100% hide money is in a coffee can in the backyard or hidden in the mattress. If she cashed checks or withdrew cash and didn't deposit it somewhere else then she can hide it. If she did cash you can still show that she was the one that took it so a judge should demand she give him 50%. All theory though!

Withdraw money and give to friend. Friend writes you a check for 90% of the money as payment for "something". Deposit check into account.

I can get much more into it, but it's super easy to hide.

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One thing a good financial crimes investigator will tell you is there is always a trail all you have to do is follow it. The only way you can 100% hide money is in a coffee can in the backyard or hidden in the mattress. If she cashed checks or withdrew cash and didn't deposit it somewhere else then she can hide it. If she did cash you can still show that she was the one that took it so a judge should demand she give him 50%. All theory though!

Withdraw money and give to friend. Friend writes you a check for 90% of the money as payment for "something". Deposit check into account.

I can get much more into it, but it's super easy to hide.

I've been investigating financial fraud for over 20 yrs and I would disgree but this is not the place for that argument. Short of actual cash going hand to hand money can be traced. If it goes through bank / credit card accounts it can be traced. All you have to find is the explanation for the transaction. Enough, let's get back on subject.
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MARCO, Sorry to hear about your buddy. Maybe you guys need a CAPTAIN MORGAN MOMENT. I know that won't solve his problems but it may make things seem better in the short term. SLAMMER OFFICIAL MEMBER OF MARCO'S MORGAN CLIQUE

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MARCO,

Sorry to hear about your buddy. Maybe you guys need a CAPTAIN MORGAN MOMENT. I know that won't solve his problems but it may make things seem better in the short term.

SLAMMER

OFFICIAL MEMBER OF MARCO'S MORGAN CLIQUE

only a week until we bow to the Captain :cheers

BTW sweet sig there Timmy

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Yet further proof that women are truly evil

We needed proof?

Let alone further proof?

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Hmm, maybe I am just wired differently but let me take a poke at what I would do in this situation. If Angie did this same thing to me I would first pray, ok that's enough Jesus talk. Next I know that everybody feels differenlty about money and everybody has stories up the wazoo, but there are facts that prove Money is the root of all evil. The wealthiest people on the planet are the most miserable lonely people by a large lead. Most famous, stars, actors, athletes, and any other world icon tend to go through many relationships. Some of the happiest people in the world live very simple lives and enjoy FAMILY, FRIENDS, and COMPANIONSHIP. I agree with Chad on this one, COMMUNICATION is the leading cause of breakdown in the relationship, seen it many times before. She has not been happy for a real long time. But if your friend loves here as I love my BRIDE, I mean truly loves her, he would let it all go and start over, move on and start a new fresh life. I would want Angie to be happy and want her to live life to the fullest. It is only money and it comes and goes. Money does not make people unique special and heroes, nope, people do. Yes times are very tough, we all started out with little money and worked are way up. It is funny how money can make people act completely out of character. Love, happiness, respect, honesty, truthfull, FAITHFUL, and loving are all great traits to have and live by. I say, support your friend and listen, listen , listen. He is probably very sad, upset, angry, tired, very low self esteem not to mention his confidence. A true frined in my mind would stand by there side and be there for them. Maybe it is a place to stay, or a vehicle to use, or maybe to just hang out with at nighttime for a while. Good luck Marco and I know that you are a really good person and want only good things for your friend. Keep us intouch. WISHBONE OUT

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Hmm, maybe I am just wired differently but let me take a poke at what I would do in this situation.

If Angie did this same thing to me I would first pray, ok that's enough Jesus talk. Next I know that everybody feels differenlty about money and everybody has stories up the wazoo, but there are facts that prove Money is the root of all evil.

The wealthiest people on the planet are the most miserable lonely people by a large lead.

Most famous, stars, actors, athletes, and any other world icon tend to go through many relationships.

Some of the happiest people in the world live very simple lives and enjoy FAMILY, FRIENDS, and COMPANIONSHIP.

I agree with Chad on this one, COMMUNICATION is the leading cause of breakdown in the relationship, seen it many times before. She has not been happy for a real long time. But if your friend loves here as I love my BRIDE, I mean truly loves her, he would let it all go and start over, move on and start a new fresh life. I would want Angie to be happy and want her to live life to the fullest. It is only money and it comes and goes. Money does not make people unique special and heroes, nope, people do.

Yes times are very tough, we all started out with little money and worked are way up. It is funny how money can make people act completely out of character. Love, happiness, respect, honesty, truthfull, FAITHFUL, and loving are all great traits to have and live by.

I say, support your friend and listen, listen , listen. He is probably very sad, upset, angry, tired, very low self esteem not to mention his confidence. A true frined in my mind would stand by there side and be there for them. Maybe it is a place to stay, or a vehicle to use, or maybe to just hang out with at nighttime for a while.

Good luck Marco and I know that you are a really good person and want only good things for your friend. Keep us intouch.

WISHBONE OUT

That was beautiful Roberto...only thing is If I loved her that much and she took the last bit of money I would bash her fuc&$n skull in and buried her in a bread box down by the river. :gun6::twak::squish:

out of respect i didn't use the axe emo lol

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