Bigfoot Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Men Are Just Happier People NICKNAMES • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains. EATING OUT • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS • A woman has the last word in any argument. • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. • A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. • Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it .... and to the men who will enjoy reading it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 :smilelol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buccaneer Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Arrrrrrrrrr...I'm wit ya matey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desertdawg Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 I'm going to print this and hang it on the fridge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
az-gold Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 I'm going to print this and hang it on the fridge! You try that and you'll be the one hanging on the fridge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedfastvette Posted June 20, 2010 Share Posted June 20, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chameleon Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigfoot Posted June 22, 2010 Author Share Posted June 22, 2010 I think this one says it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buccaneer Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 I think this one says it all. AMEN, brutha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigfoot Posted June 22, 2010 Author Share Posted June 22, 2010 Ok, why was this closed???? Opened Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
az-gold Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 I think this one says it all. On the bottom half, just as in real life, a lot of what you see is fake and doesn't work right. ok, ok, ok....j/k! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buccaneer Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Shouldn't that switch in the bottom pic be in the OFF position? Jus sayin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chameleon Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 I think this one says it all. That top panel has no mechanism for adjustment Consider for a moment the infinite number of adjustments a knowledgeable operator could make on the bottom panel. . . any of you wise guys have the operating manual for the bottom control panel? Not that any man has ever been known to actually read, much less follow, instructions. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chameleon Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 On the bottom half, just as in real life, a lot of what you see is fake and doesn't work right. ok, ok, ok....j/k! Now, THAT is funny (and unfortunately, in many cases, all too true). . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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