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Pizza


roneva

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this is the future - scary...



Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
No sir, Google bought Gordon's Pizza last month.
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
Do you want your usual, sir?
My usual? You know me?
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you
ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni,
mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust.
OK! That's what I want .
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula,
sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?
What? I detest vegetables.
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
How the hell do you know?
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!  I already take
medication for my cholesterol.
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According
to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at
Drugsale Network, 4 months ago.
I bought more from another drugstore.
That doesn't show on your credit card statement.
I paid in cash.
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
I have other sources of cash.
That doesn't show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an
undeclared income source, which is against the law.
WHAT THE HELL?
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of
helping you.
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and
all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where
there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6
weeks ago.
 
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^^That's closer to the truth than you know, only substitute Google for NSA. But they're catching up!:bolt:

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insatiableOne

Two words... fuck google

 

another two words. "Onion router" (TOR)   If you want to be safe

 

startmail told big brother to piss off when they wanted access to email 

 

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Desertdawg

I just don't put personal info online.

I mean, if I wanted the world to know that my left nipple loves to be licked more than the right one,

or that I still pee on my toes in the shower to prevent athletes foot, then I post it. 

 

Otherwise, stay out of my personal life. 

 

 

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  • 3 months later...

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